Seifer's Wasteland

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 19:36:41 GMT

My Personality


Neuroticism	3
Extraversion	82
Openness To Experience	54
Agreeableness	91
Conscientiousness	70

You are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time. You are calm and composed, reacting well to situations that most people would describe as stressful. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. You have a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

Only high quality myspace layouts.

See that? I've become an even BETTER person than I used to be. Can I improve even more than this?About a year ago.

The Law of Diminishing Luck

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:15:59 GMT

What a major rough patch...

It really is always one thing after another. I guess this is going to last through into the next year and beyond that. I look back to an entry I made about a year ago and I thought I had it bad then. I would kill to have it like that again. Compared to now, I really was just whining.

I don't even know where to start, there's just so many things. I suppose I can start with sleep. I don't get anywhere near enough of it anymore with my job at UPS. I've reached a point of extreme exhaustion. I don't even know how I do my work when I actually do make it to work. Today I didn't...my alarm went off, I shut it down, then I fell asleep and didn't get back up. Next thing I know, the phone is ringing about an hour later. No doubt it was work calling. I just ignored it. I should have just immediately called in when I got up and said I couldn't make it today. Either way, it doesn't fly well. I'm kind of looking foward to my termination at the end of the year now.

The job is hard enough...back breaking, and while I can keep up with everything, the job isn't worth it between the lack of sleep I get, and the fact I can't even pull my own weight with this job. I'm no longer able to support myself as I once did. I can't afford food for myself anymore, so I rely on my mother...again.

Then the tuition for next semester due on the 15th of next month is approximately $2,500. This semester, I had trouble enough with $1,750. Now, I'm $2,000 short of what I need. All the loans and shit have already been taken into account, and I still need to come up with $2,500. And even if I did have just that much, that would leave me with a balance of $0 in my checking and savings. So now what? I don't think my mother can help me with this, she's poor enough herself. We live below the fucking poverty line as it is. Makes me sick to my stomach when I think about all the other people who DO have money and complain. I'm sure something will be figured out, but it's really scary thinking about it. I don't want to have to give up my education because I can't afford it. Because while I may be floundering with work, money, sleep, and my physical wellness, school is the one thing I still manage to do okay in.

Back to sleep. It's not just work, but I owe it my dreams as well. I can't get a good night's sleep with all the shitty dreams I've been having lately. You may tell someone or something to leave you alone in the real world, and it'll work just fine, but that doesn't mean these things will leave you alone in the dream world. So on top of being physically exhausted from a lack of sleep in general, this aspect leaves me mentally exhausted on top of it. Stay out of my dreams. I don't want you there either.

It leaves me so out of it. Driving to work yesterday was making me uneasy because I just...wasn't there? I can't explain it. It's like I was driving, but I was completely unaware of the road and was still in a sleep like state. I really don't enjoy putting myself through dangerous situations like that. I do at least still care about my well being for what it's worth. I can't have this.

Let's see what else...oh, my hygiene is on a subtle decline. This is mostly due to a lack of time to do things, however. If I didn't do things I enjoyed, all I would have time to do is work, school, eat, clean, sleep. One of them needed to be sacraficed, so I chose the one I'd miss the least. I'm sure I'll have time for it once school lets up for a little while.

Sleeping on the couch all the time is no doubt bad for my back, so between that and work, my back has been giving me some problems. It's a good thing I won't be doing this job for a long time, or I might definitely face some complications with discs later in life.

The only thing that keeps me truly alive is Christina, I think. She's the only one that really helps me forget about all these things by just being herself. It brings out my normal, worry-free side where I can just be the person I've always known at any given point of my life except for lately. A lot of the time, she's not around, so I end up spending a lot of time alone anyway...

I hope I can find a way out of this hole very soon.

I haven't posted one of these in a while.

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 19:14:13 GMT

My Personality


Neuroticism	50
Extraversion	39
Openness To Experience	27
Agreeableness	91
Conscientiousness	78

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

Bebo, MySpace Codes and hi5 by Pulseware Survey Software

Click on Full Report if you want to see a more complex set of charts on each individual color.

Why am I a fuckup?

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 05:49:09 GMT

I'm not looking for an answer. I know it's because I just am. I'm no good.

I fuck up the thing that's most important to me...why? It's always me who's fucking up...me. She can do me no wrong. It's always...me. I try being the best I can, but I always fail because...I am a failure, essentially. I can try, but I was never meant to succeed in doing anything right.

I make her angry...do I always make her angry? What does she mean? She doesn't want anything to do with me? Well, that just hurts. Does she really mean that? Take a good look...it's only me that can do the wrong. I'm a plague. Why does it have to be this way?

I dislike myself more and more everyday. When I am finally going to get something right? When am I going to stop being a fuckup? Why am I not the person I'm striving to be, struggling to be?

I can't live with myself.

So many damn things to get done...

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 22:36:54 GMT

So like, today I paid a college bill, and it was expensive.

Yesterday I bought two tickets for Six Flags...they were expensive.

Today I bought two tickets to see Taking Back Sunday and My Chemcial Romance at the Allentown Fair, they were more expensive than the Six Flags tickets...lol.

Six Flags this Saturday with Mia! Whoo! All those rollercoasters are going to be awesome, orgasm worthy, even. Getting there is going to be insane, though...I don't think I can read the damn directions without fucking them up at least once. Haha.

The show at the Allentown Fair doesn't happen for almost another month, but following directions for that one should be fun too. -_-

Nonetheless...a lot of fun in the next month! Whee!

Change of pace, maybe.

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 05:20:01 GMT

I'm going to try to dust this thing off and see what I can do with it. I realized that I haven't looked at it or read my friends page in over almost two months. So rather than letting this thing just rot here, I think I'll try to make some entries. A theme change was way overdue, so I took care of that. Let's see...Glenn has already abandoned lj, so let's see how many friends I can get to drop me from their lists by posting the same exact thing everyday.

I'll start on that tomorrow.

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 23:46:51 GMT

Silent Hill. Best video game adaptation ever.

I was not disappointed at all. First of all, any music in the film came from the games' soundtracks. I can't recall any other video game-based movie that has done that. Second, it took elements from all four of the games (mostly the first three), but used the storyline from the first game with a some changes here and there. They really did one hell of a job capturing the atmosphere of the games and bringing it to life on film. Third, take how brutal the games are (which isn't too much, but they still have their share of blood) and multiply it by five. There's is nothing more to say about the movie other than "instant win."

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 13:37:39 GMT

Dog shit...in my house?!

CHRISTINA! You better clean it up before I get home tonight, or else. This is inexcusable! >=(

It greets you at the front door. You can't miss it...clean it up, or make your time.

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 03:44:10 GMT

Am I close?

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 15:44:30 GMT

Fucking toilet flushed on me 4 times IN A ROW! I didn't even get up this time! I made sure I retracted my man bits to avoid what happened last week, but that still couldn't save my ass from being sprayed with an abundant amount of mist...Seriously, what the fucking fuck?!

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 02:56:04 GMT

One of my better days, today was. Got done with a major presentation for school this morning, which went well, headed out to eb for KHII, bought it, went back to school and hooked up in one of the LGI rooms. 30% Big screen, 10% surround sound, and 60% total awesomeness all over the room. I thought it was funny when I came out and everyone was outside waiting to get inside the room, I started walking towards the door at the end of the hall and one guy went, "Hey...there's no one in there!" I guess the surround sound gave the impression that there was a large audience or something.

All is well in the world.

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 22:34:00 GMT

Allow me to iterate: I hate automatic flush toilets. I didn't realize they changed the flush mechanism on the toilet in the one bathroom at school, and I got up for a second to read something on the stall wall, sat back down, and suddendly heard the familiar sound of a toilet flushing. There's only one stall in the bathroom, so it was apparent that the toilet flushing was the one I was sitting on.

The water was cold, and my penis was nearly torn from my body. :(

Everybody is gay for Seishiro.

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 08:40:57 GMT

Looks like I decided to stray from doing what I need to do and instead fooled around again. Here's the product of determination...my first complete vector. One days worth of work. Not that I'm a homo or anything, but I'd do him:

Go ahead, click. This is far from full size.

The eyes were definitely the hardest part, followed by the ear closer to the blind eye. But...those goddamn eyes. It took forever to get them just right. Photoshop even crashed before I had a chance to save after I had been halfway through his good eye and just finished his blind eye and ear. That was hell having to do it all over again. At least coloring his face was easy, though.

And why I chose to do this particular shot as a vector...I've just been in an X mood lately. I honestly couldn't tell you why. I just am.

Pointless fun.

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 01:07:05 GMT

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23^®

Ca-ching.

Greetings from shenanigans!

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:35:10 GMT

………………..,-~*’`¯lllllll`*~,
…………..,-~*`lllllllllllllllllllllllllll¯`*-,
………,-~*llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll*-,
……,-*llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.\
….;*`lllllllllllllllllllllllllll,-~*~-,llllllllllllllllllll\
…..\lllllllllllllllllllllllllll/………\;;;;llllllllllll,-`~-,
…...\lllllllllllllllllllll,-*………..`~-~-,…(.(¯`*,`,
…….\llllllllllll,-~*…………………)_-\..*`*;..)
……..\,-*`¯,*`)…………,-~*`~.………….../
……...|/.../…/~,…...-~*,-~*`;……………./.\
……../.../…/…/..,-,..*~,.`*~*…………….*...\
…….|.../…/…/.*`...\...……………………)….)¯`~,
…….|./…/…./…….)……,.)`*~-,……….../….|..)…`~-,
……/./.../…,*`-,…..`-,…*`….,---…...\…./…../..|……...¯```*~-
…...(……….)`*~-,….`*`.,-~*.,-*……|…/.…/…/…………\
…….*-,…….`*-,...`~,..``.,,,-*……….|.,*...,*…|…...\
……….*,………`-,…)-,…………..,-*`...,-*….(`-,…………\
..............f`-,………`-,/…*-,___,,-~*….,-*……|…`-,.....\

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 04:06:51 GMT

It looks like I'm bored, depressed, lonely, and etc...so bored, depressed, lonely, and etc. that I've turned to this thing. I thought the start of the new semester would be a good thing, but nothing good has happened yet. I'm tight up on cash, and every single one of my classes required a text book this semester, one of them...even required three, priced at over $50 a book ($50, $70, and $100 to be exact). Not to be a whiny bitch or anything, but are these people aware that we don't have degrees yet? Those prices are a bit much for a book we won't even get a fifth of our money back on...unless we attempt to sell it online, which I think that's what I'm probably going to do once I'm done with them. I don't even get called to my current job for work. I had to transfer money from my savings into my checking because I was approaching zero. I haven't even splurged in over two months, maybe even three...I don't think I've spent more than $30 on myself in that long.

I also needed to get a new tire since one of them reached its limit of use, but that's really no big deal. However, why is it that when they went to go move my car into the garage it didn't start? Why did that have to happen? It so happens my battery had a short in it and I had to get a new one of those too, ironically, just after I transferred money into my checking account.

On my way to class tonight, I could have wrecked my car hitting a deer. Good thing I saw something move in the weeds before it crossed, I wouldn't have been able to brake in time considering I was pretty close when it jumped out. It's like everything went into slow motion as soon as I saw it moving in the weeds. I feel as if the gods are testing me or something.

One thing after another.

I went to McDonalds to grab something from the dollar menu since my mom advised me to eat considering I hadn't eaten anything all day, but the line was too long and I needed to get out before I was late for class. I felt twice as flustered and even more depressed.

I got to class, and sat through the whole thing upset with a loud fan blowing cold air on me. I didn't want to turn it off because I was afraid someone else that got to class before me might have turned it on and would be upset if I turned it off.

Oh, and one of the orders I made for my books online was cancelled. I guess...I kind of feel like wasting away at the moment.

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 08:08:37 GMT

So yeah, it's the New Year. I've come from the future to tell you all what it was like when the year rolled over to 2006.

It sucked.

You guys didn't miss anything, don't worry. It's okay if you didn't get to see it.

Happy Holidays! Posting useless lj culture!

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 03:15:16 GMT

It seems my LJ is now very holiday based...oh well, more fun that way.

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Thursday I didn't flush (-1 points). Last week I ruled Canada as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In July I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). In November I caught a purse-snatcher who stole eyp0097's purse (30 points). In August I put money in pen_two's expired parking meter (14 points). In April I bought porn for sakura_yume (10 points). Two weeks ago I farted in an elevator (-6 points). Last month I helped boktai see the light (8 points). In June I helped allamericanwhor hide a body (-173 points). Last week aexoden and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Last Wednesday I helped derisio across the street (6 points). Last Sunday I put gum in peridot_0830's hair (-12 points). In March I pushed king_of_loss in the mud (-17 points). Last Monday I broke joelholmes's X-Box (-12 points). In July I pulled lilredsarah's hair (-5 points). In September I pulled over and changed dragonguy's flat tire (15 points). Last Friday I set vampirita's puppy on fire (-66 points).

Overall, I've been nice (521 points). For Christmas I deserve a shiny red ball!

Sincerely,
seiffy

I thought I would include as many names as possible...lol, I set her puppy on fire.

But seriously, the only Santa I want coming down my chimney this year is this one. Well, I don't have a chimney so the door is fine too.

...aw shit, she's just a drawing...

It's been a while.

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 05:24:05 GMT

Yeah, since I updated and since I posted Halloween pictures. I missed a year, but this year I dressed up again. You probably don't recall, but last time I was a nun, and posted those pictures of course. This time I decided to change gears and be a priest.

Yeah, yeah. I know. It's still wrapped up, but the real thing isn't underneath it. So just pretend it's not wrapped up?

Same with this one and the one below.

Happy Halloween.

If you read this...

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 01:51:01 GMT

I'll probably never hear from you again, but I still want you to know one thing even if that is so. I really did mean what I said on that day, and from then until now, I never lied about antyhing. But, I made a mistake and I was asking for too much by trying to get you to stick around. I really did want that, but in the end it just made things even more complicated. What I should have done was just tell you to go the hell away and never come back, "can't you see I don't want you anymore?"...the type of thing you always see in movies that have a sad ending, even if that may have been far from being the truth. But I guess in the end, it really is the sensible thing to do. Things turned out worse and then were just drawn out.

So this is goodbye.

And I'm sorry...for everything.

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 05:33:56 GMT

Dude, look what I got for Christmas.

One of the most real looking love dolls I've ever seen. Damn this thing rocks. I should have some fun at night for the next few years before I become bored with it. Wait, what am I saying? She'll stay like that forever! I'll never be bored! Fully poseable!

Oh, and if you were offended by the nudeness of my love doll, well...<^> That's right, FUCK YOU! You shouldn't let your kids look at your computer! Don't you know by now that I'm a fucking pervert? >=O

Btw...this entry is public. I absolutely had to share my greatest Christmas present in the history of my life...and ever.

What you see is what you get.

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 22:59:51 GMT

Anything beyond this entry in this journal is now...

It's on...

I'm going to be late one of these days...

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 03:15:42 GMT

I did say this would be friends only, but I decided to make one last entry before I go through with that. The majority of the people that did read my journal didn't have their own, so it's kind of sad that I have to do this...it's true. That was the whole reason I had a public journal. There were more people that weren't in my LJ friends list that read it. It's just too bad that other people have to ruin it for those I don't dislike. I'm going to take down the "Friends Only" entry for now, and I'll put it back up in about two days.

So anyway...I arrived to work at EXACTLY 7:00 a.m. I'm lucky, considering I have to punch a time card. I thought I was going to miss it by one minute because I got stuck behind some slow ass on the road...but I'm still lucky. I tore through the school parking lot. Sceeching tires around the turns and everything.

One last amusing thing for my last entry. I think Jordan is Brand New's drummer:

Wtf?

Yes, that was taken directly from a music video. I don't know why the hell Jordan's in it.

So, that's it. No more public journal.

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 01:33:54 GMT

The only good song on the new Taking Back Sunday album is A Decade Under The Influence...all the other ones are--it's just not the same without John on backup. The reason I probably like Decade so much is mainly because it's the only one that sounds close to the way TBS used to sound.

Eh, that's why there's Straylight Run, I guess. Despite the fact they're completely different.

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 19:49:29 GMT

I don't know if I like weed wacking very much. I figured I'd have an easy time with it today, but it was the complete opposite. First off, I was never really good at getting pull-start weedwackers to start. A certain type anyway...it's like, if you don't pull straight up, the handle doesn't budge, you hurt your palm, and throw out your arm. I needed help getting it started a few times...four times to be exact. While I myself was able to get it started whenever it stalled and there was no one to help me, it's still pretty sad. Also, I spooled it wrong the first time it ran out, so it ended up getting tangled. I had to stop the damn thing serveral times when the spool disappeared back into the reel.

I did start to get the hang of it...but it doesn't make me happy. While weedwacking the fence in the soccer field, I discovered some guys jock cup, all sorts of bottles, my palm formed an open blister from all the pulling, and by the time I called it quits, my bicep felt like hell to the point where I had to lift my arm slowly to avoid more pain. It's not helathy to carry around a weedwacker for about 5 hours with most of the weight on one arm.

The rest of the day I worked inside...so it wasn't too bad. But I better learn how to use that freaking thing better, or I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.